Prop 8U

I would like to add a proposition to the California ballot, which I will name proposition 8U. It will be similar to proposition 8 "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California" except it would say:

"Only marriage between a good-looking (wo)man and a good-looking (wo)man is recognized in THE WORLD."

This is because I do not believe ugly people should be allowed to get married. I personally hate ugly people, and the worst thing we can do for the world is allow two ugly people to get married and have fugly babies.

I realized this when I went to the facebook page of a "friend" of mine and saw that, because she is a devout, loving, Allah-fearing Catholic, she supports proposition 8. Unfortunately, it turns out that she is also ugly. I thought this was only an external thing but when I saw her stance on the proposition, I soon realized that she is ugly both on the outside and inside. Luckily, she is not yet married (nor do I imagine she ever will be, unless she meets a very kind, blind man some day) so we still have time to save marriage. This got me to thinking about all the things we actually agree on when it comes to marriage. We both agree that marriage is sacred and we both agree that we must protect marriage. How we will protect it, however, is where we differ. She wants to protect marriage from gay people. I want to protect marriage from ugly people. And on this difference, I have divine backing.

I know I have divine support because I know that Allah hates ugly people. How do I know that Allah hates ugly people? Because he made them ugly. If he loved ugly people, he would have made them gorgeous. But Allah evidently loves gay people. This is clear because he made them fabulous. How many straight people do you know that are fabulous? Right, I thought so. As you can see, this logic is irrefutable.

To this end I urge everyone to support me in the future when I create proposition 8U and ask you to stand with me to protect marriage and the human race from God-forsaken, ugly, fugly people. Thank you, and may Allah continue to bless us all. And if you're ugly, may Allah start to bless you in some other way, like with money or something.