Somebody Got a New Phone...

... and it wasn't me! It wasn't anyone I know either. So how do I know that somebody got a new phone? Is it because statistically speaking, as I am writing this, somebody somewhere in these Great States will get a new phone? No. It's because I have been inundated with a barrage of calls at the strangest f-ing times from a wide variety of numbers. We've all been on the giving and receiving ends of wrong number dials before. It's not a new thing. But few have had to deal with the stress I am currently undergoing because some hoodlum got a new phone.

It all began around Sunday night/Monday morning when I was sound asleep in my bed at about 12:53am. My phone rings and I do not recognize the number so I silence it. Now my new phone is quite cool because you have the option of leaving the alarm on with the ringer off. So if a call is received, the phone will not ring, but it will ring to wake you up in the morning. Thanks to Shabana, however, I no longer use that option because she has filled me with the fear of not being in contact should there be a night-time emergency. As such, I always sleep with my ringer on now. And that means sometimes being woken up at odd hours by Beenie calling from Paris, but it's a small sacrifice. Well, it WAS a small sacrifice. Back to Monday morning. At 12:53 I silence the phone, only to be disturbed again at 12:54 by the same number. No message was left, mind you. So I silence it again, thinking if even it is a friend calling from a land line, at least they'll leave a message and I'll check it right away. No message. I fall back asleep, and lo and behold, bitch calls again at 12:57. I pick up and she is speaking some incomprehensible rubbish. I inform her that she has a wrong number and that it is ONE THE F@*K AM and do you know what she did? She HUNG UP ON ME! I was actually polite. I did not actually use the F-word. I said, it is 1 am please stop calling me. She did not even apologize!!! What a whore!

So what did I do? I called that bitch back at 6:00am and then hung up. One point me.

Several other phone calls came throughout the week, each from different numbers. Another middle-of-the-night set of calls came on Thursday at 3:30am. This time I picked up and made moaning sex noises until the man on the other end hung up. He too received a 6:00am call. I automatically wake up at 6:00am every day for a few minutes. I am weird. But it is working well with my new phone calling lifestyle.

My most interesting call happened this morning around 9:00am. It came from an 888 number so I figured, maybe it's Trini calling with a calling card or something, better pick up. I pick up and it's an operator assisted call... from a CORRECTIONAL FACILITY!

Oh. My. Allah. Who the hell has a new number close to mine with friends who call almost exclusively after midnight and now, from jail?! I didn't bother to accept the operator assisted call because I really didn't want to be explaining to some felon that he has a wrong number.

Did I mention that I am scurred?