Charter Should Go into Banking

Charter Communications is perhaps the biggest sham of a company I have ever known. I think Enron was more honest to their clients than Charter. Regardless, because the bitches have a monopoly in St. Louis, and because St. Louis is sort of like a developing country, albeit poorer and less developed, I am stuck with them for my cable and internet. The good news about sham companies like Charter however, is that just like the amoral banks that make billions off of poor folks, Charter also has no true way of keeping track of all the money they steal from their customers. All they know is that it's a lot. And so they can lose some and they'll still be okay.

Case in point: today when my internet setter upper guy was late, I called Charter and complained that I had lost two hours worth of wages waiting for him and was likely to lose two more. His window of arrival was between 10 and noon, according to the appointment and I called at 12:45pm. So Charter offered me a $20 credit. I politely protested that 20 dollars won't account for four hours worth of lost wages and since they were charging a connection fee, it would be nicer if they credited that amount instead. And you know what? They agreed! They credited me $49.99! Amazing.

Some people might call me an ungrateful asshole and say that this should make me agree that the company is actually not bad, and that it actually does care about its customers, but I beg to differ. Try calling them and you'll see what I mean. They don't even know who is in charge of what in that place. I asked for new internet and one rep told me it would decrease my bill by $1.00 to add internet because they would "bundle" it. So I said, great, let me call back when I am sure I can set up the appointment. I call back about 5 days later and a new rep says it will increase by $45.00. So I ask, how is this possible, that is $46.00 more than what I heard last time. He got annoyed and "double-checked" and then decided it would only go up by $11.00. Eventually we agreed on something between 4 and 10 dollars, which he was sure to inform me was a huge favor. Since when do you barter for an internet price? We do that in Trinidad, but for fish in the market, not for internet!

Just to end, I am pasting an online chat session with Charter reps for your amusement, and in case you suffer from low blood pressure, this is sure to help. The query is legit; they sent me a message by mail the other day about programming your DVR from any computer if you have a Charter internet account. I threw away the letter because at the time I had been "picking up" a "complimentary" wireless signal at home and had no account or any reason to get one. My complimentary signal has since vanished and I had to make other arrangements. The conversation is below. Enjoy.

A representative will be with you shortly. You have been connected to CVW Arnold . CVW Arnold : My name is Arnold, Thank you for contacting Charter Communication. May I have your full name so I may assist you today?

Me: I receieved a letter a few weeks ago explaining how to program my DVR settings (select shows I want to record) from a computer as long as I had DVR and Internet from Charter. I can't find the letter anymore. Can you direct me to a web address where I can get those instructions please?

CVW Arnold : I do apologize You been mistakenly routed, You currently reached the National Sales and Order Department, you will need to Contact Customer service video support group for further assistance at 1-888-438-2427 or I can also Transfer you.

CVW Arnold : I can transfer you

Me: please transfer me

Me: thanks

CVW Arnold has left the session. Please wait while we find an agent from the CHAT - DUMA - Video Support department to assist you.

You have been connected to TTD Francine Jay .

Me: I received a letter a few weeks ago explaining how to program my DVR settings (select shows I want to record) from a computer as long as I had DVR and Internet from Charter. I can't find the letter anymore. Can you direct me to a web address where I can get those instructions please?

TTD Francine Jay : As much as I wanted to help you, it would appear that you have been mistakenly routed to our Billing Department. Our Internet Department would certainly be able to help you out with your concern. Would you like me to transfer you to the right department?

Me: yes, please transfer me

TTD Francine Jay : One moment please while I transfer you to our Internet Department.

TTD Francine Jay has left the session. Please wait while we find an agent from the CHAT - DUMA - HSD Support department to assist you.

You have been connected to TTD Sybil .

TTD Sybil : My name is Sybil. Thank you for contacting Charter's High Speed Internet Support. How may I assist you today?

Me: I received a letter a few weeks ago explaining how to program my DVR settings (select shows I want to record) from a computer as long as I had DVR and Internet from Charter. I can't find the letter anymore. Can you direct me to a web address where I can get those instructions please?

TTD Sybil : It would appear that you are mistakenly routed to the Internet Support. TTD Sybil : I apologize for the inconvenience however, to be able to resolve your concern, please call 1-888-438-2427.

TTD Sybil : Is there anything else I can help you with today?

Me: what is wrong with you people? This is going to be the FOURTH time I have been "mistakenly routed". Is this some sort of joke?

Me: please re-route me to an online agent who can assist me

TTD Sybil : I am very sorry but you need to call.

Me: why is there no agent who can answer a simple questions such as what I am asking?>

Me: it is not that technical

Me: just give me a web address; that is all I am asking. I am not even asking for instructions on how to do it.

Me: this is ridiculous

TTD Sybil : I apologize for the inconvenience.

I quit here