Sad Faces

I think it's no secret that I hate ugly people. It's very difficult for me to face the day with all the horrors it brings me when there are ugly people around. It becomes just too much to bear, you know? I mean, a thunder storm, bad day at lab, cat shits on the carpet... all bearable. But add to that having to interact with an ugly person, and BAM! Unbearable. This is why I refuse to be friends with an ugly person. It's definitely a deal breaker. Unless you have money of course; or a hot mom/dad. Because that means you're probably going to become better looking as you get older, and if you don't, you can at least afford plastic surgery to buy a new... well, face. That said, I draw a very clear distinction between ugly people and people who look sad.

The sad faced person earns my deepest sympathy. I don't know what it is about a person who looks sad all the time that gets me so very blue but it does. I remember there was a girl at Williams who came for a summer and she was extremely weird. Tall, lanky and weird. Her skin had never seen a ray of sunlight. To add to her weirdness, she was allergic to sugar. I kid you not. She was also somewhat rude to me and a bit of a downer overall, but I mean, I gave her a break because how much would it suck to be allergic to sugar?! I would be sad all the time too. And I'd be a bitch, just like she was. But there was something that prevented me from being totally bitchy back to her, and for some reason I remembered her today and I remembered what it was: her face. She had a sort of turned up nose as if to say she scorned the world and everything in it, but more than that, she had a SAD face. The haunting, daunting, sad face.

There is a woman who works at Subway here on Euclid and she too has a sad face. Part of me just wants to walk around the counter and give her a hug and make her a sandwich for a change. I have decided that if I ever were to become very wealthy, I would walk in there and give her a $10,000 tip. Just to make her happy.

I got the opportunity to put a smile on Sad Summer Williams Girl's (SSWG) face on her last night at Williams, and it was very satisfying. Okay, get your mind out of the gutter. I was not that generous. She was actually baking some cookies for someone, which sadly she was unlikely to eat (because she's allergic to f-ing sugar), and she was missing an ingredient: raisins. She was SO pissed because someone had taken her raisins from her storage space. Luckily, I had this phase during my sophomore year where I thought I was a raisin person and bought a whole set of them, only to realize I was actually not a raisin person at all and would never be found just snacking on raisins (who does that anyway?). So I was able to produce a few small packets of raisins, and SSWG's frown turned upside down and she... SMILED. I didn't like her at all, yet I was SO happy. I am weird.

People have theories. I have heard that we hate others most for what they represent of ourselves or something like that. Or we hate others because of our fear that what they represent may be something we're trying to hide or whatever. Hence the idea of the homophobic homo. Like Larry Craig who voted against a federal law that would have prevented employers from discriminating against people based on their sexual orientation. This would have been a regular run-of-the-mill douchey Republican thing to do... had he not also enjoyed smoking anonymous cock under the bathroom stall divider when he wasn't voting to deny himself a job after he got kicked out of the Senate. Ha!

Anyway, maybe sad faced people make me - someone who is used to entertaining, to cheering and to making people laugh - maybe those people set off a little fear inside of me. People who can only very temporarily look happy, and when they do, they seem in pain because of it, make me sad. I want to help them; I want to do whatever it takes to make them happy. This, in a way, is not as selfless as it would seem. I simply want to sleep well at night, and this sad faced person's face is going to haunt me if I don't at least temporarily make them appear happy. Ugh, I am complicated.